The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

*insert eye catching title here*

Tomorrow will be my last day of freedom from the kids.  It will be summer break.  I'm not sure I will survive them.

The stuff from the bad news box:

~~The 650 lb. virgin who lost 410 pounds has gained almost all of it back.  It is kinda easy to see the reason.  First and foremost, he was a money maker for both this charlatan and TLC.  He went with some "fitness guru" (who, according to an article, didn't even want to work with him, probably because he was afraid to actually have to prove he knew how to help someone) who started him on a system that the douchebag is now selling to the public.  (no, I won't give the name.  I won't support any garbage like this ever.)   You prepare and pre-proportion your meals every day and keep them in a special cooler that actually has a timer that tells you when to eat.  All well and good, but what happens when you, oh I don't know, go on vacation...go shopping...move...go to the mall...have kids...have a job...have a family...have a life...lose your stupid bag...the timer breaks...etc.  Can you imagine, every single day, preparing *5 to 7* meals that you have to carry around with you?  Really?  Sure, you will lose weight....BECAUSE IT IS EXHAUSTING!!   You have to change your life and relationship with food otherwise, no matter what you do, you get fat again. He wasn't taught how to LIVE with food.  He lost weight and made this idiot famous and rich, but what happens when the cameras are turned off and you are left to your own devices?  It is obvious you will lose weight on any diet: cabbage soup, pills, frozen meals, etc., but until you learn to eat to live and not live to eat, you are doomed.  He also was never helped  *on the inside*.  Weight loss isn't only physical but mental and spiritual.  My heart breaks for him and I hope that one day he can find happiness in himself, no matter what size he is.  A sad sad situation.  Oh, and big shocker: the douchebag guru is no longer friends with the virgin.  Figures, doesn't it?

~~A man in Michigan was pulled over for drunk driving...an electric wheelchair.  Yeah, funny, except for the fact that this is his *7th* DUI conviction.  Message here: Hey, drunk drivers! Come to Michigan!  We will slap you on the bottom and hand you your keys!

~~Miley Cyrus is getting married.  Um...whoop?

Here, a few movie reviews :)!

Carnage: An amazing movie starring Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster, John C. Reilly and Christopher Waltz.  What happens when four adults get together to discuss what should be done with their feuding boys?  Trust me, watch it.  A bit slow at the very beginning, but you will laugh your ass off, point at each other and go, "That's you!", and in the end, shake your head and go, "Mmmhmm...you know it!"

Rating: 5 very loud zombie moans

Woman In Black:  *sigh*  Well, it is a cute bedtime story.  A campfire ghost tale. Daniel Radcliffe actually did a very good job in this movie.  Unfortunately, well...it sucked.  Not scary.  No goosebump moments.  Not even one of those electric-feeling internal jolts you get when something shocks you.  Nothing. at. all.  Watch it if you must, but, if you don't, you aren't missing a single thing.

Rating: -300 sad zombie moans

Retreat:  Stars Thandie Newton, Cillian Murphy and Jamie Bell.  This is a twisty, turny movie.  What is happening?  Is it real?  What is the truth?  Are we all going insane?  The ending will leave you with your jaw on the floor.  Very much worth your time!  I mean, come on!  Cillian Murphy and those blue eyes!  Like you need a reason other than that!

Rating: 5 happy happy zombie moans

Also, if you look to the right, you will see that I now have *97* victims blog reading friends :).  Granted, probably only 10 actually ever even come here, but still lol.  Tell you what: I get to 100 and I will do a fun little giveaway like so many of my other favorite bloggers do.  Come on...help you Sweet Queen Texan Zombie Goddess feel loved!

Okay, I shut up for now.  I leave you with zombie Popeye...or Zombeye...or Popbie...whichever, it is a cool pic...


I'm strong as da trains
Cuz I eat my brains
I'm Popeye the Zombie Man!!
Toot toot!

Peace, Love and (give me a title for this post.  i gots nuffin) Zombies \IiiI





2 comments:

Mina said...

Thanks for the ratings. My sister said the same thing about "Women in Black" which was disappointing. The previews looked so good and creepy. Have a great rest of the week sweetie! Mina

theshellyverse said...

I must say I love your review system with the zombie moans!!!