taking stock

I know I have been a *huge* Debbie Downer lately. Life has thrown me some massive curve balls and it takes its toll on one lil ole Texas girl. Perhaps I am mildly bi-polar, who knows? Believe me, though, when I say I know I am blessed. Even in all the bullshit and tears, I am blessed.

~I am from what I consider to be the best state on the face of the Earth: Texas. I am an El Paso girl through and through. I bleed '24 and the Northeast. I will always love my hometown and will talk about it constantly.

~I have a wonderful husband of almost 18 years (18 years on Saturday). We have a beautiful home, beautiful daughters, and a lifestyle that, while can't go out and buy a new car every day, I am able to stay home and take care of my house and family. My husband has an incredible job that is opening doors that 10 years ago we would have laughed at. He is a pastor unlike any you will ever meet (6'4, bald, tattoo'd and earring wearing, thank you) and is accepting of me and all my many colored moods. My daughters are my world. I sat here last night with my 8 year old while she read her Junie B. Jones book to me and it struck me, "Wow. *I* taught her how to read. From what an 'A' was to reading books." I did that with my 8 and 10 year old since this is their first time in public school after being homeschooled all this time. My 14 year old, even if she is a frustrating teenage girl, is amazing. All of them are. And they are *mine*.

~My flesh friend circle, while small, means the world to me. I am a dedicated friend. My wall may be high and covered in barbed wire, but once you are in, you are in...until you hurt my family, other friends, or myself, then Lord love you. My bestest bud here in Michigan, Marla, is my partner in crime, my hang out girl, my weight loss motivator and sarcastic loving sister of the soul. My bestest, and known me forever, bud in Texas, Naomi, is my partner in crime, my hang out girl and nutball bitch sister of the soul. I have that in *two* states! Pretty cool!

~My blog friend circle, what can I say. There are as diverse as I am, as crazy as I am, as loud and opinionate as I am, God and Goddess loving as I am. What more can one person as for?

~I look out back of my house. I see the forest my house backs up to. I see the swing set and trampoline that my girls and their friends play on all the time. I see the fire pit where some of the greatest parties have been held, the loudest laughter has been heard, and the deepest tears have been shed. I look out front, and I see the yard that my husband, my girls and I have worked on to bring back from the dead for 6 years and I smile. If you could have seen the *nightmarish* way this house looked when we first bought it, you'd understand. Blood, sweat, tears and more blood has been shed for this place, and we will keep doing it again and again.

I may complain. I may cry. I *will* bitch, but I know I am blessed. Do I love living in Michigan. Nope, unless they eliminate winter. Do I love my life? Absolutely. Will I always want to go back to Texas? Well, duh. But I am blessed. I am who I am, take me or leave me. But, if you stay, be ready for the ride of your life, because this Texas girl don't pull no punches.

And I am blessed.

Peace, Love and (thinning) Zombies \IiiI

Weight loss to date: 9 lbs.