I hate you. It's obvious you hate me. Summer will come one day, and there is no way I will ever be able to wear anything other than the one pair of jeans I can barely fit into. You leave me no choice but to deny you any basic needs or enjoyment whatsoever. You don't deserve it. Fooker.
Your self-loathing owner
You are in cahoots with the body. You are flabby, falling, wrinkled, dull, dreary, drab, spotted, dotted and gross. Mirrors are my worst enemy because of you. Ain't no amount of makeup will ever make you worth looking at without screaming and running in the other direction. Screw you.
What did I ever do to you?
Yeah, I'm having a very bad day. I know I am blessed, blah blah blah. Everyone gets to have a bad day. This is mine.