The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Monday, June 2, 2008

life on a roller coaster

Grandma: You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster.
Gil: Oh?
Grandma: Up, down, up, down. Oh, what a ride!
Gil: What a great story.
Grandma: I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so sick, so excited, and so thrilled all together! Some didn't like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. Nothing. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.
The movie "Parenthood". Definitely one of my favorites. This quote hits the mark in so many ways, especially right now in the lives of my family.
Don and I moved to Oxford because we felt called to do so. It was a "God-incidence", because everything just seemed to fall in to place and it all felt so right. Now, it just doesn't feel like that anymore.
There is such a feeling of unease, confusion, a disquieted spirit it you will. Don is feeling it, I know I definitely am. We just aren't sure what to do about it. Do we stay where we are and hope it figures itself out and goes away, or do we go with the feeling and start finding a way to ease everything? Do we leave our church of Lake Louise in Ortonville to pursue our dream of starting a home church here in Oxford, or do we keep going with the flow where we are? How can I parlay this into moving back to Texas? Had to throw that in, sorry...
These feelings are real, and they are affecting our actions, emotions, spirits, even our personal lives. If we were just "pew warmers", maybe this would be easier. Just get the heck out of Dodge and move on. But we aren't pew warmers, we are part of the leadership of that church. We are board members (which we take seriously), Don is an Associate Pastor and Tech Guru, I am the interpreter/singer/women's ministry leader/jack of all tradeswoman, we run the small group ministries and youth group. Do I think that that church is hinged on us? Good Lord no, not in a million years, but we also know that we do play a role that is of some little bit of importance. Do we stay because of our position there, or do we go where our spirit is taking us? Do we continue on at the detrament of our spiritual well-being, or do we stop before it is too late and it kills our desire for ministry? Up...down...up...down...upside down...around and around...keep your arms and feet in at all times folks...its going to be a bumpy ride...
Prayer is going to play a big role in all of this. Maybe that's why we are in such a state right now. God got us here, then we took back the reigns and told him to take some time out, that we would take it from here. So, God did what we asked; He sat back and watched. Watched and waited until the time when He could say, "Okay, did you get that out of your system finally? Well, here is what we are going to do now...", and show us the path we are to take next. That is scary sometimes...putting your life into the hands of the Almighty, taking your hands off the bar in front of you, throwing them in the air, and letting the coaster take you away.
Its the Journey that should matter and always be full of fun and excitement. Merry-Go-Round Journeys are safe, and so very boring. Same thing everyday. Oh look, a tree...oh look, a tree...oh look, you get the idea.
Roller coaster Journeys, now that is something to be a part of. I can feel the G-forces on my tummy right now. So scared, so excited, so thrilled, all at the same time, just like Grandma said. Why do you think people will stand in line for hours, over and over again, just to get on the coaster. Maybe because no matter how many time you ride it, it is never the same.
It's time to get off the Merry-Go-Round and go for it. With God in the seat next to me...right in the front...watching that big hill coming at me, and not knowing what lays ahead...big cheesy grins...hands in the we go......................................................................


Anonymous said...

Move to San Antonio. Then figure it out from there.

Love you guys,


Anonymous said...

Huh. Weird that Blogger won't let God have his own name up there either.

Anyhoo, I agree with him. But just on this one thing. I say move here too!!

Whatever you decide to do, it has been my experience that if you are unhappy where you are and you stay to let things work or figure themselves out, they seldom do. Situations tend to dissolve into less than happy times. And it often becomes harder to deal with them.

Also, I think you should listen to God. In your heart...but more importantly, on your blog.


Anonymous said...

Well, like you said all you can do is pray. And then see where God leads you. (But if it is to San Antonio- can I come and visit?)