I haven't posted in a while. I've been dealing with a bit of depression and having demons come back to haunt me. For fun, we will discuss a few things that you never knew about me...or asked...but that is besides the point...
Here we go...
1) I suffer from a few phobias. Two to be specific. One is nyctophobia, a fear of the dark. Yeah yeah...me, the Queen Texan Zombie Goddess, is afraid of the dark. Don't judge. The other is tonsurephobia. Yup...I have a huge fear of having my hair cut.
But for good reason...
When my family and I returned from Germany, I was 7 years old. I had hair down to my butt. (I have pics, but it is 2 in the morning...I ain't looking for them now lol). We were driving through Florida for a reason I no longer remember. It was hot and sticky, and I hated having my mom brush my hair. So, in her loving wisdom, she had it cut. But not just cut, but C U T. The only thing I truly remember was the beautician looking at my mom saying, "Are you SURE??" and her, in her sweet way, saying, "Cut it all off. She deserves it." It was SHORTY SHORT. Not a bob, but a full out boy look. I looked horrible. Not just horrible, but H O R R I B L E. I will put up the pics later, but it was NASTY! Ever since then, I have been *terrified* of having my hair cut in any way.
2) I dislocated my neck when I was in the 6th grade. Yeah, it is as painful as it sounds. I dislocated my shoulder in the 5th grade simply sitting wrong in a chair...no, seriously. My shoulder still hurts to this day. The day I dislocated my neck will always be memorable.
I was practicing flips. I was big into gymnastics, and my parents had left me home alone (as usual). I got bored, and began doing flips over the couch. One, after another, after another. I was GOOD in my opinion. Then, it happened. I missed the couch. I literally landed on my head. Remember the girl in the Olympics many many years ago who did that and broke her neck? I did the same. I remember the crunchy sound my neck made when I landed. I just laid there for a moment, because I hurt and didn't know what happened. I sat up...and realized I couldn't move my head. It was stuck. I was stuck looking to the left. I could. not. move. my. head. It hurt horribly. I waited until my parents came home and they saw what happened. Did they take me to the hospital? Nope. They said, "Oh well. You can go to school tomorrow and I will try to make you an appointment at the chiropractor in Las Cruces." I went to bed with a DISLOCATED NECK! I had to sit on the right side of the chair so I could see the teacher. I went to school the next day WITH A DISLOCATED NECK! I was driven from El Paso to Las Cruces WITH A DISLOCATED NECK! I remember the chiropractor, Dr. Curry, looking at me, looking at my injury, then at my mom, saying "You left her like this??" She said, "Yeah. Why?" He was shocked. He had to put my spine...my neck...back in place. It was horribly painful. I cried. A lot. He actually put me in traction for 4 hours, hoping that his adjustment would work. He told my mom I should go to the ER one way or the other to be checked out. Instead, she took me home, and I went to school the next day.
I could have died. Seriously. But my parents didn't want to be bothered.
3) As much as I love horror and blood and violence in movies, my absolute favorite film of all time is "Somewhere In Time". Romance. I love romance. I refuse to let it affect me, because if you don't have it, you don't like looking at it either. I'm a softy deep down inside. Bloody and gross, but soft :).
4) I still suffer from bulimia to this day. Especially lately, trying to find a job, having a husband who is going bat shit crazy at work and I can't make it better, having the kids all up in my grill 24/7, etc, etc, etc. Control. It is all about control. I have none. It sucks.
5) I wish I didn't hate God. Well, maybe I don't hate hate God...I just don't know where we stand anymore. I want to embrace my wiccan-ness, but I am afraid to. I want to embrace my Christianity, but I am afraid to. *sigh*. I want to dive head first into a vat of chocolate and super spicy onion and chicken curry, but I am afraid to.
6) I'd kill to be able to read all those ridiculous happy happy joy joy posts on FB, but I can't. My bff is in love and happy again, and it makes. me. crazy. Don't get me wrong. I am so very happy for her getting to move on in her life with a man who absolutely adores her. As for me...well, I've been married for 20 years. That new car smell is all dead and gone, so seeing that kissy smoochy feely crap makes me jealous as hell. I want it again, so bad. C'est la vie I guess.
7) I need sleep...desperately...but I never have 5 minutes to myself, even in the bathroom, so I stay up late, hoping that the kids will go to bed and hush up. Ain't happened yet. The hubs is blessed and gets to go Up North in 2 weeks to hang with friends, to breathe, have some quiet time. I don't have that. At all. I am so jealous I can taste it...and there is nothing I can do. Arrgh!
Yeah, depressing. That is what I am . Depressing. I know that this is a phase and it will pass. It needs to do it now lol!!!
Okay, I'm done bitching. I think. I swear, I will make my next post happy as hell!
Are You Scared 2: SUCKED on levels I cannot explain. I took the bullet so you don't have to. -1000000000000000 Zombie Moans
Til next time my friends,
Peace, Love and (i need sleep) Zombies \IiiI