The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Thursday, June 21, 2012

this, that and the 99%

THIS~~The well saga is finally over.  After 5 days, two bottles of sulfuric acid and some $2500, we have water again.  That goodness we didn't need a new well dug because that would have sucked big time.

THAT~~Finally figured out why WW hasn't been paying me.  It appears that, even though they are a *huge* multi-million dollar corporation, they can't manage to not lose paperwork.  Specifically in the financial department. Now, I have to copy and email all invoices to get paid because the monkeys in the mailroom are too retarded to take envelopes where they belong.

THE OTHER THING~~I am going to share an opinion that will piss people off, and I am okay with that.  This opinion is about motorcyclists.  Motorcyclists that, for some blooming fucking reason, think that the world revolves are their dumb asses.  Commercial after commercial  about the plight of the biker that is being victimized by what I now know are called "cagers".  Fuck me backwards.

Now, are *all* bikers shithead motherfuckers?  No.  Not all.  99% of them, but not all.  I know quite a few who are polite users of the roadway and know that their shit ain't made of gold.  They wear their helmets...they signal...they follow road rules...just like us cagers.

I like them.

The 1%...and I don't mean those dipshit biker gang murderers.

Now...the 99%.  The ones that, like pitbull owners, think that they can never ever ever ever ever ever ever do anything wrong...ever.  The ones who think that, if one bike stops at the blinking red, then all twelve of them can go through the red light without stopping.  The ones who come speeding up on you at 90 mph on a one lane road, zip around you like they are on fire, the slow down to 10 below the speed limit, making absolutely sure that if you try to pass them that they speed up enough so you can't.  The ones who, on a freeway during rush hour, that they can use the shoulder to zip on past everyone because they are special.  Oh, and I looked up the laws for real, and the only place that that is remotely legal is California, so please, don't tell me it is.

I love the fact that this stupid state of Michigan is cracking down on seatbelt laws, but have repelled helmet laws.  WTF is that?  I'm sorry, but if you ride without a helmet you deserve to get your head creamed on the pavement, just like if I were to drive at 100 mph without a seatbelt I deserve to become a hood ornament.

My favorite was the bastard who was riding my ass while I was going to pick up my daughter from school.  The road was busy as hell, and I didn't feel the need to meet the person in front of me.  When it was my turn to stop at the light and then make my left turn, this fucker races around me, flips *me* off, and cuts off two other cars going through the green light.  Sadly, he didn't get hit, but if he had, sure as shit that fucker would have sued and won, sighting negligent driving on the other cagers part.

So, there you have it: Motorcyclists are, by and large, douchebags.  But I love my 1%.

Now, I also know, for a FACT, that any biker people who read this are going to jump all over my shit and call me everything but my given name.  That will simply prove my 99% theory, because after all, I thinks he doth protest too much :).

FOR THE RECORD: Am I saying that all bikers are guilty and all cagers are innocent?  Not by a long shot. I live in Michigan. Drivers here SUCK ASS.  I have posted many times about the assholes who don't use signals, turn left where it is illegal, do 20 mph on an on-ramp going 75 mph, the ones who won't change lanes so that you can get on to the freeway safely, then look at you like you are the idiot when you get shoved on to shoulder by them.

I am simply saying that I have had it with the woe-is-me attitude of bikers.  And, just to let y'all know, if I could afford one of those trike bikes, I'd be all over that like butter on bread!

That's that :).  I'm off to do more laundry.  Wheeee....

Peace, Love and (where's my broomstick?) Zombies \IiiI


4 comments:

Martina said...

We have a motorcycle but I am going to have to agree with you. Most bikers are ignorant jerk offs. You forgot to mention the dip shits on crotch rockets who use the interstate as a place to show off their "tricks." We had one come flying onto the interstate doing a wheelie the who time. Wtf? Apparently these people have a death wish.
As for the helmet issue, I think it should be mandatory in all states. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't been wearing a helmet back when I had my accident.

Glad you got the well issue resolved without having to dig a new one.

Texan Zombie Goddess said...

Why is it, if I forget to use a turn signal, there are 500 cops waiting to write me up, but these idiots can get away with doing that? It's ridiculous!

I'm glad you wear a helmet. It would be a sad world without you in it :).

\IiiI

suzanne smith said...

I hope I am in the 1 %....lol

I agree about the helmet law...i would love to see the no flip flop law go into effect

Magaly Guerrero said...

Yay! for the getting back your water, mama!

Bikers... this is a sensitive one for me. Two of my friends were killed because of an idiot biker who didn't care to obey driving laws, I know they aren't bad, but the ones, in NYC, who drive like they are the only ones on the road piss me off. More than once I have felt like just, casually of course, opening my door when they are zooming past me while I'm stuck in traffic. You know, I wouldn't even mind if they did it slowly, it's the speed and the arrogance that gets me.

Anyhoo, I don't even want to talk about them.

Oh my gods, I just read Martina's comment about people doing wheelies in the interstate. Imagine that in a NYC highway and then you will know why I agree with you so much.