The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Sunday, July 31, 2011

survival of the (former) fattest

I am now an official survivor of the Warrior Dash 2011, the 5K obstacle race from hell. Let me tell you, that race was *hard*!!

My friend Marla and I dubbed ourselves the "Former Fat Chicks", although I still have a long way to go.

We started out all smiles to begin the 8 a.m. wave of the race.

We are the dorks in the dead center of the picture, all lined up and ready to go.

We were in the first wave at 8 a.m. Believe it or not, there were 500 people per wave, a new wave starting ever half an hour. The race that we participated in in Mt. Morris, Michigan was the 2nd largest ever. They had over 20,000 participants over the two days of racing.

We thank god we did the early wave. It wasn't horribly hot yet, even though the humidity was kicking my asthma's ass. Began with a one mile run until the first obstacle, then a lot of running between the following obstacles:

tires and cars
jumping over walls and under barbed wire
water and logs
rolling over elevated cargo netting
scaling wall with rope
crawling under black tarp they rightly called the "sauna"
mud bog that went up to my neck and smelled *horrid*
mud hills and ravines
another scaling wall you had to repel down the other side
cargo net wall
fire leaping
and one more barbed wire/mud bog that took you to the end of the race.

I know that I am not accurately describing these obstacles to you, or I am making them sound easy, but BELIEVE ME, it WAS NOT EASY! Have any idea how hard it is to jump over a wall that comes up to your neck? Can't wait to post the pics of the bruises on the insides of my thighs lol!

All in all, we had a great time, it took us one hour and nine minutes to complete it all and looked like this when it was over:

There were lots of broken ankles, dislocated fingers (which I am surprised didn't happen to me coming down the damned rope wall with mud all over my hands) and, very unfortunately and tragically, one possible death. Our husbands were standing next to the finish line, and around 20-someodd minutes in, a very healthy looking, well-built man came around the corner, ready to finish, stopped and dropped. They had three medics doing deep chest compressions, running him to the ambulance while his whole family watched. Seeing that made Don and Bryan very nervous, considering the Marla already has a pace maker and, well, who knows what could be wrong with me. He and his family are definitely in our prayers tonight.

I can't wait to do it again next year. This time last year, I could never have even considered being a part of this race. Next year, I will be thirty pounds even lighter and ready to kick Warrior Dash ass again!

Bring on the Zombie Apocalypse bitches!!! I'm ready!

Peace, Love and (WARRIOR!!!!!) Zombies \IiiI


Debbie W said...

Rock on Warrior Woman!! I'm proud of you! :o)

Magaly Guerrero said...

If I had to go through hell or had to survive a zombie Apocalypse I would have no one but you; I've heard zombies are distracted by sexy looking women covered up in mud and wearing work boots. You look great, luv. This seems like the beginning of a great thing; I hope you know this kind of race is addicting.

Shelly said...

ohh lordy girlfriend!!! I'm so happy for you! WOOT!

I can't imagine doing that!!

So proud of you!!!

nitebyrd said...

Wow! You did something I'm really terrified to do! Congratulations!

I'm new to your blog but I think I'm really gonna enjoy it!