The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

the queen's meme

The Queen's Meme #36- The Weird, Unusual and Amusing Meme

The following statements are true. Your job is to explain why you think they are true. Just offer up your usual amusing quips! I'm betting we'll have some hysterical responses. Remember that somewhere somebody in the world needs to know these things and your tax dollars probably paid for the research that went into proving them true.
1. More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes. Jackass=Politician. Politician=Shitty laws and decisions that kill large numbers of innocent people. Therefore, Jackass=kill innocent people.

2. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants. The ban came via the wives who were sick and tired of the Donald Duck porno rings that were being started by the husbands. I's Finland for pete's sake lol j/k.

3. If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white. You keep any fish out of water in a dark room it will turn white, duh. Fish murderer!

4. The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes. Why were they fighting in the first place? Who had the worst food on the planet. Who can win against stuff like "blood pudding"?

5. Women blink nearly twice as much as men. They are trying in vain to see the "real" man hidden behind the mask. Kind of like blinking away tears or dirt to see clearly.

6. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
You know, I am just going to sit here and picture the grant money that was wasted on this experiment, the brilliance of the nerd who came up with and sold the idea to idiots at some prestigious college...or our super-smart government...on this hogwash, and the hours spend convincing ants that beer is good. That must be some amazing time lapse photography.

7. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. If our eyes can be bigger than our stomachs, why not?

8. In England, the Speaker of The House is not allowed to speak. If England learned anything from us, it is how a Speaker of the House will only destroy everything you are trying to do good in your country. Um, hello...Pelosi?? I mean, seriously? That bitch should be tagged, gagged and dropped off the edge of the Grand Canyon.

9. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. Quicksand nothing! How do you keep from sinking into a waterbed?? That would be something good to learn!

10. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily. This probably happens in Florida a lot. We all know that they aren't too keen in keeping their facts straight lol.

12. The electric chair was invented by a dentist. You know, that actually makes perfect sense...


Mouse said...

Hahahaha great answers, though No5 is my favourite! And have to agree on the blood pudding, gross *shudder*.

Mr. Lance said...

Jackass = Politician WAY too Funny, I spilled by coffee reading this as Hillery Clinton was on TV in the background talking about how some laws have to change.

Good timing!

Melissa Mashburn said...

I have to agree with you about the waste of money on the ant study.