Today seems like a good day for honesty. Sound okay to you?
Here is my honesty: I'm terrified. I have a daughter who will be 12 years old on the 26th, on the verge of womanhood, high school, boys, crushes, driving...and I am terrified. I don't think I know how to do this. This cute little 4 year old:
...is now this beautiful young lady:
...and I'm freaking out. All I see out there is a world of oversexed, under-educated, zero common sense, do-it-if-it-feels-good "peers", all bared teethed and claws out, waiting to get ahold of my baby and eat her alive. I know I can't protect her, or her sisters, 100% from what the world is, but that doesn't make it easier. I also know that she is protected eternally by God, but I still want to take the reins from His hands and say, "It's okay. I don't really think you can handle this one." What do you do with that???
I have no foreknowledge to go off of. At the age of 11, I was basically on my own, getting myself up in the morning for school, feeding myself, caring for myself, living in an empty house while my parents did their own things. I smoked, I drank, I had things happen to me that to this day still haunt me when I let them. Yes, I'm here, I'm home, but she isn't always here with me, she can't be. I need to let her live, to learn and grow, but, damn...damn damn damn.
I know I sound like a fool, but like I said, I am being honest. I'm not ready to lose my little girl, and I don't know how to start letting go. It's all happening too fast, and I'm scared.
No, I'm terrified.