The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


Today seems like a good day for honesty. Sound okay to you?

Here is my honesty: I'm terrified. I have a daughter who will be 12 years old on the 26th, on the verge of womanhood, high school, boys, crushes, driving...and I am terrified. I don't think I know how to do this. This cute little 4 year old: now this beautiful young lady:

...and I'm freaking out. All I see out there is a world of oversexed, under-educated, zero common sense, do-it-if-it-feels-good "peers", all bared teethed and claws out, waiting to get ahold of my baby and eat her alive. I know I can't protect her, or her sisters, 100% from what the world is, but that doesn't make it easier. I also know that she is protected eternally by God, but I still want to take the reins from His hands and say, "It's okay. I don't really think you can handle this one." What do you do with that???

I have no foreknowledge to go off of. At the age of 11, I was basically on my own, getting myself up in the morning for school, feeding myself, caring for myself, living in an empty house while my parents did their own things. I smoked, I drank, I had things happen to me that to this day still haunt me when I let them. Yes, I'm here, I'm home, but she isn't always here with me, she can't be. I need to let her live, to learn and grow, but, damn...damn damn damn.

I know I sound like a fool, but like I said, I am being honest. I'm not ready to lose my little girl, and I don't know how to start letting go. It's all happening too fast, and I'm scared.

No, I'm terrified.



1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Ahhh Yes, I totally understand this! In a major way. But think of it this way, the girls have a great set of parents- you and dh. And they've got common sense! They'll make it. And so will you! (Also, please remind me of this ever so often when I'm going bonkers!)