Wednesday, April 9, 2008
i miss you...
I woke up this morning, nothing out of the ordinary. My first thoughts are of what to do today: teach the girls, so some laundry, call my mom and just say hi.
Yeah, call my mom and say hi. Hard to do since she has been gone for a little over 5 years. The 23rd of January saw the first anniversary of my father's passing. Its so hard sometimes.
The pictures above are from around 1954 or so. My mom's graduation picture from Newburgh Free Academy in Newburgh, New York, and my dad with his pride and joy Chevy. She was always so beautiful, and he was such a handsome man.
I miss them both so much. I would love to hear my mom call me "her baby girl", or my daddy signing off his emails with "DOD" or "Dear Old Dad". I miss their voices, I miss seeing them. I miss hugs and kisses and their quirky old people ways lol. Life wasn't Beaver Cleaver land, but it started to get better...just a little too late.
Even after all this time, I still have those moments where I actually pick up the phone and almost dial my mom to say "Hey, you should see the girls doing this or the weather doing that", or wonder what new things my dad wants to bitch about when it comes to New Mexico. But I have to just put the phone down and take a deep breath, swallow back the tears, and hope the pain goes away.
So, needless to say, I am having a missing mommy moment, and it hurts...a lot. Yes, time does make it easier, but not better. It will never be better.
I love you mommy and daddy, and I wish you were still with me.
Your baby girl misses you.