My birthday is right around the corner, in 21 days to be exact. The 17th of March, good ole Saint Patrick's Day. Erin Go Bragh! Ain't a lick of Irish in me, at least none that I know of...there are lots of interesting things I keep learning about myself since my parents passed lol.
As I start reflecting on the passed almost 37 years of my life, I worry if I have done what I am supposed to do in this life. Have I fulfilled my duties on earth, to my family and friends...to the society...to the universe....AAAAHHHHH!!!! When the crisis of stupidity passes, I put things into perspective. I am an at-home mom. I cook and clean, do laundry and grocery shopping. I take care of and homeschool three girls. I support my husband and his dreams 150%. I've seen stuff on refrigerator shelves and underwear that no human should ever ever see. I am on-call 24/7, have no pay, no vacation, no promotion. And you know what??? I love it.
Ohhh, yes, there are moments when I put my head in my hands and proceed to de-hair myself. I coulda been something...I coulda been a contender! As I sit there, wallowing in the coulda-woulda-shoulda, something amazing happens. My 6 year old comes out and crawls on my lap because "I just wanna be wiff you mommy", my 8 year old brings me a beautiful painting of the family, and my 11 year old discusses the deep relationships of characters in "The Odyssey". My husband actually utters that oh-so-elusive phrase: "You were right dear"...holy schmoley. Did Jesus come back and I missed him???
No, I didn't miss him at all. He has been right here all the time. I am so very blessed, and I take advantage of it every day, but I never say thank you. My husband loves me; really, really loves me. For people who know me, that is something not easily done! My girls are beautiful, smart, open-hearted, kind, God loving and fearing creatures. I have a safe and warm home (albeit in Michigan, but I digress...). I am where I am supposed to be and I am who I am supposed to be.
I am who I am supposed to be.
I am who God made me to be.
And I like it.
Have I done all I can in my so far 37 years on this earth? Nope. There are more meals to be cooked for friends, there are more bit and baubles to be made, there are more smiles and laughs and tears to be had. And I can't wait to see what God has in store for me next...
When I grow up, I wanna be me. Cool.