Okay folks, after yesterday's tirade, I am back to normal. Normal, of course, being relative. Try picturing it this way: I am an introverted extrovert, a woman who deals with bouts of agoraphobia that can't stand being trapped indoors. Deal with *that* one lol. (Just for fun, go to www.phobialist.com. There are some wierd phobias out there!)
This past Saturday, my husband and a few others, along with good old me, went to a day of seminars put on by the church of the Nazarene called "Team Day". There was something for everyone. Two classes I took, Lead Like Jesus and Christian Counseling, were the best ones.
For those who don't know (which is probably all of you haha), I am in the process now of taking CLT, or Continued Lay Training classes, in Adult Ministries. For the longest time I have felt a kind of tugging at my heart to go deeper into ministry, and one day, into counseling. No, not for me personally, which I probably should, but for others. I have dealt with some especially unique situations in just the past two years that have left me dealing with wounds and scars that are only going to heal with a lot of time, a lot of love, and a lot of Jesus. I so want others who may be going through what I have/am to know that they are not alone. The Lead Like Jesus seminar talked to me in so many ways, and concreted a lot of what I have been trying to put into practice for a long time. Let me explain, k?
Too often, people shove Jesus and God and heaven and angels and the salvation message down the throats of others. What happens when you force-feed anything? It gets regurgitated, spewed on the floor and left to be cleaned up. That isn't the way this thing works. You don't yell it...you live it. You are it. You show it in your life, in your actions, in your love of those around you. I had people in my life who tried that "If you don't believe, you are gonna go to **HELL**!!" way of saving me. My answer to them was usually, "Cool, I'll see you there." Oh, yeah, that worked...NOT! No one wants the stench of puked up religious politics to waft around them like a cloud. I know I sure don't. I want what was touched on in my class, the scent of Jesus, to be what I leave behind. Nothing cloying, not stinky, but just...refreshing. Freeing. That scent that when you breath in you just think, wow, that feels good. I want that too. That is what I want to do, what I want to share with those I love, and with those I only come across for a fraction of a second. The scent of Jesus.
I am sooooo not perfect, and in no way have perfected doing this. I have anger problems, I will to this day admit that I'd kill for a cigarette and a beer once in a while, I don't read my Bible everyday, and I can swear a sailor under a table. But I am trying. Every day I wake up and start anew, asking Jesus to help clean up the muck I have, to forgive my sins, and help me to know how to love myself and to share love with others. I have come a long long way from who I was 5, 10, 20 years ago, and I didn't do it alone. I have had friends who have been there since practically day one and know when to use soft and hard love with no strings (winkers to boo and foamy), a husband who holds me when I start to fall apart, children who are my heart, and a God above who loves me just as I am, but too much to leave me that way. So when I say "Lead like Jesus, not like Beavus", I mean lead with love, not with stink.
So, there you go. No more freak outs about snow...the weather channel says it will be in the lower to mid 40's this week...HEAT WAVE!!!