The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

the rape of a genre

Now, y'all know I can have a visceral reaction to some things:

Stupidity.

Old people who drive.

Uber-thin models.

And most of all:

Shitty horror movies.

The top of the list of shitty horror movies that I feel actually rapes the name is one specific movie, or actually, all four of these crapfests:

"Paranormal Activity", or as I call them "Parastupid Craptivity".

Oh.  My.  Goddess.

These things are *GARBAGE*!  A woman in a Yahoo article actually said, and I am not directly quoting, but the gist of it was, "'Paranormal Activity' is the scariest movie since 'The Exorcist'".  Um...what?  No, seriously...what?

Parastupid Craptivity is not a horror movie, at least not to a horror movie purest such as myself.  These movies, all four of these jokes, are nothing more than comedy with a pop-up boo thrown in for good measure. You cannot, in any way, shape, or form, say these are scary, unless you are actually afraid of your own shadow and dust bunnies.

If you love these movies, I feel *so* bad for you and, quite honestly, want to slap you.

Hard.

Before you ask: yes, I have seen them all. On DVD from Netflix.  I will be damned if I pay $10 to go see this load of bullshit, but I don't put down or rip apart anything I have not seen to give me proof of what I am saying.

My oldest and I sat and watched number three of this cluster fuck and...sat...and...watched...and...laughed our asses off.  We just kinda shared glances and looks of, "Are you serious?"  She watched one of them with her friends and told me how annoyed she was when her friends would sit there and scream and carry on while she was bored out of her ever-loving mind.

Yes, she is jaded like me...and I like it.

I pray to all that is holy that they will stop making this refuse and move the hell on.

Please, just stop it.

And all you "Parastupid Craptivity" lovers, I would light a candle for you, but the flame may terrify you.

Peace, Love and (scariest since "the exorcist"? *smdh*) Zombies \IiiI

2 comments:

Martina said...

I can honestly say that I have never seen any of them. I'm quite proud of that fact.

suzanne smith said...

goes along with the blair witch movies and the quarantine ones...makes me just shake my head and wonder what is wrong with people.

Probably the same dumb ass that wear their pj's to wally world