The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

anything you can do i can do better-er

We all have them in our lives.

Those people who *live* to one-up you every chance they get.

The shitster was one of those for me my entire life.

I had a serious knife wound...she was shot in the head (no proof except for her rampant stupidity)

I went to school to become an interpreter...she had been an interpreter for years.

I had to be treated for carpal tunnel syndrome...she had had four surgeries.

You get the idea.

I have a new one of those in my life now.  An e-maginary friend on facebook.  Our only connection is a mutual friend and the fact we attended the same high school, different years.

We were discussing said friend, and I said, "I've know her for 25 years!  I know this chick like the back of my hand lol!"  To which this person replied, "Well, I've known her even *longer* and know her even *better*!"

Okay...yea you.

Then it was from a post I put up the other day:  "The wind is whipping at 30 mph up to 45!", to which said person replied, "Well, it was gusting to *60* here so deal with it!"

Lucky you.

One day, it was particularly difficult with the girls, and I posted, "Sometimes it is so hard to have three girls!", to which this person replied, "Well, I'm raising two girls all by myself."

Not my fault, you want a gold star?

Today, it was when we were talking for some reason about weight.  I said, "I've lost 50 pounds!", to which said person said, "Well, I lost 138!"

Oh for the love of goddess.

The best part, and this part that makes me laugh the most....

this isn't a girl...

IT'S A GUY!!!

Kinda sad when some dude has to constantly, and I mean *constantly*, one-up a female.  The examples I gave are just a few.

SMDH.

Gotta love it.

Peace, Love and (wonder if I tell him I died and came back if he would tell me he is still dead) Zombies \IiiI

9 comments:

Martina said...

Wow, I can't believe that was a guy! Then again, men are immature as hell.

Roe said...

I have a few of those myself, which is one of the reasons I don't bother posting much on Facebook anymore. Too many assholes

Texan Zombie Goddess said...

Martina@ you've probably seen some of these conversations between this person and I on FB lol.

Roe@ I hear ya girlfriend!

Debbie W said...

Of course now I have to go back and look. I try to avoid those kind of folks as much as possible, but it doesn't always work. :)

bingsy said...

I actually don't think he is trying to one up you so much as doing an inept job at relating to you. It looks to me like he wants to play/get in the water with the comments but doesn't realize that not all comments need to be said. He sounds like he needs support and thinks he is giving it - being a male is significant here as they may not read cues fb or otherwise as readily as us females (who, and I am talking out my ass here) have been socialized to read social cues and the needs of others.

I think keep on being positive with him. Model Model Model good behavior.

Magical Mystical MiMi said...

Omg.. We have the same fb "friends!" Some days if I'm feeling especially bitchy I like to toy with them and just throw up ridiculously random shit on my page to see what they'll say next, most days I just laugh at their glaring insecurities.

Magaly Guerrero said...

You should tell him, "One time I rubbed dog poop all over myself in less than 60 seconds, and I know no one can top that."

suzanne smith said...

hmmm... can't say much there are some things i one up...like angry birds...just as my fb friends. lol

I have lucked out not to many people I surround myself try to one up me....OMG maybe I am the one upper??? bahahah

Magaly Guerrero said...

I hope you know I click on your site everyday, hoping to read you mind-food.

I'll continue going to Facebook to get a snack.