The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Thursday, February 9, 2012

the bad news box

Say hello to the a.m. enemy. My archnemesis. Something I hate having tear apart my each and every morning.

Say hello to....

The Bad News Box

I hate this little bastard. He has the rest of my family in chains. In the morning, I love silence. Quiet, ease into the morning silence.

Not my drugged up family.

No. They had to instantly turn on the BNB. Loud. Obnoxious. Full of bad news, death, evil, bullshit, blood, politics.

Things like:

Listening to octogenarian whores like Mimi Alfred, who apparently screwed JFK and now wants to profit off the fact she was a huge slut and mistress.

Obama deciding that kids who can't read are the wave of the future by abolishing the "No Child Left Behind" act.

7 more schools being closed in Detroit because the city is broke and has been since 1950.

The fact that the police waited almost 30 minutes to answer the 911 call from the social worker the day those two innocent boys were brutally burned to death by their father, because the dispatcher told her: "We need to handle the most life threatening calls first."

The constant chatter about a uber-rich woman in Grosse Pointe who was killed by some guy. Is it sad she is dead, sure. Do we have to fucking hear about it every waking moment of every single day, no.

Besides those nuggets that come instantly to mind, there is also the election season, fires, shootings, drugs, the president breathing, children being abducted, stores being robbed, every food on the earth and its new found ability to kill you, parents who are assholes, kids who are bigger get the idea.

The one that stuck in my craw yesterday was about one of those child abusing parents in "Sluts and Sequins"...oops, I mean "Toddlers and Tiaras". One morbidly obese, nasty ass ugly mom feeding her daughter deadly amounts of caffeine and sugar so she can have the energy to strut her pedophile-loving stuff on the runway. You can see it here:

Naturally, porky pig says she has no concern for her daughters health and isn't worried about the ramifications of feeding her child a mixture of Red Bull and Juice, along with multiple packs of Pixie Sticks, happily called "Runway Crack".

Honestly, I hate the tv. I watch a few things, a few sad pathetic things, but really, I could go without it.

BNB needs to be shot. Except during the "Walking Dead" season. Let's not be crazy now lol.

Okay, soap box put away.

On a lighter note, I get to go get new glasses today. What happened to my old ones, you may ask? Well, you are going to laugh. I went out to coffee with the hubs last weekend. Apparently, they fell out of my pocket when I got out of the car once we got home, and they were lost in the little bit of snow we had on the ground. Day later, hubs brings them to me...flattened. The car had run over them. It was sad. So, there you go. Flat glasses, eye-strain headache, snow. Kind of like that contacts commercial.

Shower time :).

Peace, Love and (a college is going to sell the abortion pill ("morning after" to those who don't want to call a spade a spade) in a VENDING MACHINE. Where is my gun....BNB dies now!) Zombies \IiiI


Martina said...

That is exactly why I rarely watch the news.

Magaly Guerrero said...

If one more person asks me why I don't own a TV, I'll send them a link to this post. Wow!