The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

pure michigan b.s.--i'm just saying

~~This is an "I'm Just Saying", so you know the rules~~

I know I haven't been around in a while. Haven't had anything to say actually. But, when I saw this on the news today, it made me laugh in a way I never thought I would. Firstoff, let me say this: we are blessed. Don has a fantastic job, we have money in the bank and heat in our house (which we still own). If Don ever, God forbid, lost his job, Michigan would be a nasty ink stain in our rearview mirror. For people who don't live here or know anyone who lives here, the media monster can make a pot of s*** look like gold.

Michigan has had this "Pure Michigan" campaign for a while now. Buy Michigan, keep money in Michigan. Yeah, I get that. We have some okay foods, great wine, beautiful vacation spots. It isn't this that makes me do a deep belly chuckle. It is the new "Pure Michigan Living" campaign they are starting now. Read their description for yourself:

LANSING, Mich. (AP) — A new "Pure Michigan Living" campaign is being rolled out to promote the state as a place to call home.

The Michigan State Housing Development Authority on Tuesday launched a "Pure Michigan Living" Web site to highlight positive stories about the state, which has been struggling for years with a poor economy.

"...struggling for years with a poor economy." What a gentle way to put say "no money, no jobs, no home." The picture I chose is from a magazine for vacationing here in Michigan, but I thought it was totally apropos for my rant here. See, most Michiganders *are* living in tents, since no one can afford to live in their homes, since no one has a job and prices on food/gas are on a criminal rise. I know that as this campaign takes off, they will lie lie lie about how wonderful life here in a completely dead state is, but if I had my chance to write my opinion, this is what it would be...hehee...ready?

Tired of living in a house?
Sick of living somewhere where the sun shines and warmth surrounds you?
Fed up with having a job, house, car and food to eat?

If this is you, I have one thing to say:

Welcome to Michigan!!

"Why Michigan?" you may ask??
We have one of the highest jobless rates in America! Not many state can boast that!
Love you a good corrupt government? We have that in *spades*!
Desire to have no schools for your children to attend because they are all being shut down due to that corrupt government? Have we got the place for you!
Love freezing to death for 6-8 months a year, driving on roads that are completely iced over and never plowed, unless you are one of the handful of uber-rich? Slid on over!

Leave those silly comforts of living and making a living behind!


When being happy is just not an option for you anymore!

I dunno...was that too harsh lol?? The news was actually taking a poll: would you recommend to your friends that they move to Michigan? 'A' for yes...'B' for no. They forgot one: 'C' Hell, f*** no. That would be my choice.


MICHELE said...

Needed your humor this morning... thanks for sharing your .02 cents.

I pick C.


Debbie said...

Ummmm...yea, I'm gonna have to pass on living in Michigan. My kids and I have grown accustomed to warmth and food. :)

Diosa Del Desierto Corazon said...

Thank you for taking this as the tongue-in-cheek personal opinion that it is :).

Sleepy Cat Hollow said...

Nevada is right behind you...our Gov is sharpening his axe and getting ready to swing at the education and health budgets. Along with making us "over-paid" state workers take two non-paid days a month.

~Byn There said...

Always love your twisted honesty. No, I would not recommend Michigan to anyone at this time but the state has prospered in the past and we need to keep the faith it will again. First off, get Jenny OUT OF THERE!!!!

Diosa Del Desierto Corazon said...

That canadian cow Granholm should have been ousted from office *years* ago!! When I moved here Engler was in office, and I thought no one could suck as massively has he did. I should have *run* when I had the chance!!!!

Stacey said...

I was born in Jackson. My sister lives there still! Poor thing. Nope, I would NOT NOT NOT move back to Michigan. You are not the first (duh) I've heard expounding on the ills of Michigan. And doesn't it all just boil down to the greed of those in power?

I would NOT NOT NOT recommend anyone come here, either (Brora, for those who are following my every trail)... for a dinky little piss-ant of a town, it is the welfare capital of Scotland, I am convinced!

Hang in there Penny... but if you figure out how, let me know!

Love, Stacey <><

(your word verification says "bears" -- there's a double meaning in that!)