The stuff that little Texan zombie goddesses are made of, living where the brains are served warm and the sarcasm is served raw.

The Adventures Of Zuzu Zombie, Undead Detective

Thursday, October 22, 2009

horror movies so bad they are good

It's the Halloween season. Time for candy, costumes, pranks, and really REALLY bad horror flicks! I consider myself a bit of a movie aficionado, especially when it comes to the blood spattering, head rolling, comet passing, demon possessing, high heeled bimbo running upstairs, straight to VHS types (you remember VHS, right?). Here are a few of my favs:

1. Motel Hell: Rory Calhoun makes jerky out of innocent hotel stayers and passer-bys.
Best quote: It takes all kinds of critters to make Farmer Vincent's fritters!

2. Night Of The Comet: This one never leaves my DVD player. Two young girls try to find life, love and a good mall after the tail of a comet turns everyone on earth into dust or flesh eating zombies. How can you go wrong with zombies?
Best quote: The burden of civilization is upon us.

3. Re-Animator: Crazy scientist and a body-less head with a sexual appetite make for a rollicking good time in the lab.
Best quote: Who's going to believe a talking head? Get a job in a sideshow.

4. Sleepaway Camp: Is it a boy? Is it a girl? One way or the other, s'mores will never be the same again.
Best quote: Because you're a cheerleader, a fornicator, a drug taker, a nasty snotty bigot, and besides that... you're real nice!

5. Puppet Master vs. Demonic Toys: I have seen every Puppet Master movie ever, so my money was always on Tunneler.
Best quote: What kind of maniacs would use human blood to wake up demons? That's just crazy if you ask me.

6. Night of the Demons 1 & 2: Two words- Linnea Quigley. They always called Jamie Lee Curtis the "Scream Queen", but she always paled in comparision to this B horror bombshell. The high school misfits and sex addicts gather for food, seances and demonic possession. Just a warning: watch out for that apple pie...
Best quote: Frannie: This place used to be a funeral parlor, wasn't it? Max: Yes. The biggest one of four counties and rumor has it that Old Man Hull really loved his clientell. I mean in a carnal sense.

7. Night Of The Creeps: What says fun like prom night and alien leeches?
Best quote: What I'm going to need is your standard flame thrower.

8. Black Sheep: I found this one quite on accident one day and fell in *love*! Secret ooze spewing company doing experiments on local farm life goes awry when little lamby gets the munchies on an activist. Is that lamb chop eyeballing you?
Best quote: I thought you of all people would appreciate efforts to deconstruct the colonialist paternalistic agrarian hierarchy that disenfranchises the Tangata Whenua and erodes the natural resources of Aotearoa.

9. Chopping Mall: Mall workers and a new robotic security system meet during an electric storm. Roomba may be sizing you up...
Best quote: I'm just not used to be chased around a mall in the middle of the night by killer robots.

and last but by no means least....

10. Sorority Babes At The Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama: Another Linnea Quigley classic. Evil Imp gives out wishes at the bowling alley, and we all know nothing good comes from wish-granting imps...or bowling alleys...
Best quote: Old Uncle Impy is just a little bit cranky. No fun being locked up, especially in a bowling trophy.

So there you go. Just 10 of the thousands of horror flick gems out there to be consumed, loved and cherished for generations to come.

What are your favorites??



Sleepy Cat Hollow said...

Your movie at #1 was just on tv...I watched the other night!

Debbie said...

Ugh....these look too gruesome for me. I like the scary movies that mess with your head....the kind that makes you jump, makes your skin crawl all over your body because you don't know what is going to happen next...I can't do gruesome. I do like the old time "horror" movies.

Diosa Del Desierto Corazon said...

"Night Of The Comet" really doesn't contain much blood at all. It is more sci-fi-ish in its scare factor. "Motel Hell" just makes me giggle :).