beginnings and endings

This post is actually about good things. I know. Freaky.

Anyhoo, we will start at the beginnings.

I have decided to change up the name of my blog. I was listening to a radio station out of Canada and a song by Seether came on. The song is called "Tonight", and one of the lines says, "just like sugar and cyanide", and I thought "Holy hell, that perfectly describes me!" I am both sides of the coin, the sweet and sour, the dark and light, yin and yang...you get it.

So, from now on, this blog will be called "Sugar and Cyanide", because you are never sure what you will get. I am sweet and kind, but I will cut a bitch.

Fear not, my little zombilings. I am still the one and only Queen Texan Zombie Goddess, always will be. I am just admitting what I am made of.

Now for the endings.

I am quitting my job as noon aide at the local elementary school.

As y'all know from my previous posts, life as a noon aide has not been peachy. I have toyed with the idea of quitting for a long time but figured, hey, it is a few extra bucks in the ole pocket, so I can take it.

That ended Tuesday.

I went into the office to sign in and Shrek was there. She told me she needed to see me in her office. Somewhere, deep down inside, I was honestly hoping that she was going to thank me for running the cafeteria two days in a row alone while the other aides were taking care of classrooms because of rain. We had three aides out with indoor recess, and these teachers will honestly *leave* their classes alone to eat lunch, because they can't handle the pressure. It was tough, but all of us pulled it off in spades.

I was wrong. Go figure.

I had no idea, though, what I was going to hear.

Shrek, after her bullshit banter says, "I have had several complaints brought against you for your loud tone and harsh discipline." Ooooookay. *Several*, really? And I am the *only* one? Wow. Yes, I am loud. You try speaking in a calm voice when you have 200 kids all talking and yelling a the same time. Harsh discipline. Hmmm. So, making the kids who decided to throw their tater tots all over the floor stay and sweep up their tables is harsh. I was also told that we weren't getting the kids in and out in a timely matter to eat their lunch. We had brought it to her attention numerous times that the teachers, especially the subs, were not showing up when they are supposed to to collect their class. We get blamed for it...not them. She then told me, and this is the best part, that on Monday the cafeteria nazi was on the phone with some high muckety muck and she heard a loud voice coming from the cafeteria and said that it had to be me because I am the only loud noon aide there is. She promptly, without actually being able to confirm it was me, reported me to Shrek telling her of my disrespectful manner. One huge problem:

I wasn't there on Monday.

Shrek advised me to do the following: do not use the whistle to get attention, use the "clap and repeat" to gain control...of 200 screaming kids. Use a kinder tone when speaking, do not raise my voice. Use nicer discipline. Be more respectful.

Have a nice day.

I hate people who cannot come to you when they have an issue. They go to the wicked bitch to get help. If any teacher had come to me and said, "You know, I don't appreciate how you spoke/disciplined my class..." I could have solved it myself. But, instead, here we are.

I called my husband, actually not planning on saying anything, to ask what we needed from the store. He automatically asked, "What's wrong?" so I told him. Much to my embarrassment, I started to cry because it really did hurt to hear all that. At the end of it all, he was silent, so I assumed he was either ignoring me or ready to tell me to suck it up. Instead, he said, "We need to work on your exit strategy."

As of the 25th of November, almost a year to the day later when I was hired, I will be telling that school what they can do with their noon aide job. I will miss my co-workers and most of the kids, but I will not miss being talked down to, disrespected, insulted and ridiculed every day. No amount of money is worth any of that.

Not having to be out in 0 degree weather for 2.5 hours won't suck either lol.

I will get to focus on my home and back on me and getting my weight loss back in gear. I cannot wait.

Y'all have a goodin :).

Peace, Love and (hasta la vista bitches) Zombies \IiiI